Mal
2:13-16 (KJV)
13) And this have ye done again, covering the
altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that
he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth [it] with good will at your hand. 14) Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between
thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet
[is] she thy companion, and the wife
of thy covenant. 15) And did not he make
one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might
seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal
treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:
for [one] covereth violence with his
garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye
deal not treacherously.
As
one of the most important institutions that the Lord established, marriage is a
very important subject that Christians need to understand and honor. In this series we will be looking at:
- What we need to know about
marriage to understand divorce.
- The definition, allowance and
purpose of divorce and allowance of remarriage.
- The Biblical grounds for divorce
(fornication).
- The Biblical grounds for divorce
(loss of favour).
- The Biblical grounds for divorce
(departure).
- A Summary Of Our Study and
Closing Thoughts
Please
understand, for this study we will only be looking at information that is
pertinent to the subject of marriage and divorce. Since marriage and the family is such a large
subject we cannot begin to cover all aspects of the marriage union in this
study. Therefore, other subjects
concerning marriage will be covered at another time.
Also,
this series of blog postings do not begin to cover every verse in the Bible
that touches on the subject of marriage and divorce. To try to cover all the verses involving
marriage and divorce would lead to a multi-part posting of maybe 40 or 50
parts. I have books on marriage and
divorce that are well over 200 pages long.
So, once again, please understand I will be covering just a few
representative verses on this subject to cover the basic principles concerning
marriage and divorce.
If,
after the series is completed you have questions about any individual verse I
have not covered I’ll be glad to answer, to the best of my ability, any
question you may have. Please feel free to ask them in a comment on the blog or
by email at settledinheaven@gmail.com
Also,
for those who have questions about same sex-marriage, please see my blog
posting entitled “Same-Sex Marriage:
What does the Bible say?” for a more complete study on that subject.
Let’s
begin our study by looking at what we need to know about marriage to understand
the Biblical teachings on divorce.
THE SCRIPTURES:
Mal 2:14; Gen
2:21-24; Eph 5:25-29; Gen 2:18-20
THE STUDY:
What do we need to know about marriage to
understand the Bible’s teachings on divorce?
What is marriage?
Lets’ being our study by looking at Malachi
2:14, here, we find the nature of the marital union being described…
Mal 2:14 -
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the
wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of
thy covenant.
What is marriage?
1. It
is a covenant relationship between the marital couple. In other words, marriage is a covenant (or a
promise, or a contract) that is made between the marital parties. The groom promises the bride that he will do
certain things for her and the wife promises the husband she will do certain
things for him.
2. The
Lord is the witness to the covenant that is established between the man and the
wife. In other words, the Lord sees that
the covenant is made and will hold both parties responsible to keep the marital
agreement. Although He is not a party to
the agreement, because He is a witness to the agreement He can enforce the
agreement and punish those who do not keep the agreement.
If we understand that marriage is a covenant
relationship between fallen human beings we also can know that it is a conditional
covenant. In other words, covenants made
between men, because of their sinful, fallen condition can be broken. If men were sinless the marital covenant
would be kept perfectly and remain enforce until death. But because men are fallen, at times the
marital covenant is broken. This is the
reason why divorce is allowed. If it
were impossible to break the marital covenant there could be no divorce under
any circumstances.
Let’s look at another set of verses that
expand on the nature of the marital covenant in Gen 2:21-24…
Gen
2:21-24 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept:
and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; (22)
And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and
brought her unto the man. (23) And Adam said, This is now bone of my
bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken
out of Man. (24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and
his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Here the marital union is said to be:
a cleaving – to be bound together, to be joined – this describes the TYPE
of relationship
1. they are bound together as if
they are now one
2. they are to look upon each
other as if they are themselves
3. therefore by helping their
spouse they are helping themselves
4. therefore what affects their
spouse will affect them
5. therefore they will be sharing
every aspect of their life with each other
a one flesh relationship – united persons, unified being – this
describes the RESULT of the union…
1. it is the joining of two
individuals into one cohesive unit
2. they are to be united in
spiritual beliefs
3. they are to be united
emotionally
4. they are to united in purpose
5. they are to be united in
presence
6. they are to be united
physically
7. they are to be united in
concerns of life
8. they are to united in goals
9. they are to united in desires
Please notice all the above clearly indicates
that the marital union was MEANT to be a permanent union. However, there is nothing in the above that
says that the marital union IS permanent…
Mat
19:3-9 … (5) And said, For this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one
flesh? (6) Wherefore they are no more twain, but one
flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (7)
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of
divorcement, and to put her away?
(8) He saith unto them, Moses
because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but
from the beginning it was not so….
Although God desires for the marital union to
be permanent, the marital covenant can be brought to an end. In the above verses
He does not say “man cannot put asunder”, he says “let not man put asunder” In
other words, although the marital union SHOULD NOT BE broken it CAN BE broken.
What are the basic
obligations of a marital covenant?
The obligations of a
marital covenant are similar, but not identical, between men and women.
The man’s duties in the
marital covenant are summarized in Eph 5:25-29…
Eph 5:25-29
Husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for
it; (26)
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the
word, (27) That he might present it to himself a
glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it
should be holy and without blemish.
(28) So ought men to love their
wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29)
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth
it, even as the Lord the church:
If we summarize the
above verses we see a three-fold obligation that is placed upon the man in the
marital covenant:…
to love –
self-sacrificial love –
1. he is to be willing to sacrifice himself for
her wellbeing
2. he is to constantly put her first ALWAYS
working for her good even at his expense
to nourish – to pamper,
to protect, to allow to mature and grow –
1. he is to care for her physical needs (food,
clothing, shelter)
2. he is to work towards her growth and maturity
spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically by helping her to
achieve her goals and desires
3. he is to help her thrive
to cherish – to brood
and supply warmth –
1. he is to meet her needs of physical and
emotional intimacy,
2. he is to watch over and protect her
physically and through counsel and service
3. he is to be physically present with her (how
else can he meet her intimacy needs and protect her?)
4. he is to not abuse her physically or
emotionally (how can he protect her if he is abusing her? How can he help her to thrive if he is
abusing her? How can he love her
sacrificially if he is abusing her?)
5. he is to protect her reputation and public
testimony
6. he is to honor her as a weaker vessel
(Other verses that
establish the above: Ex 21:10-11, 1 Cor 7:1-6, Deut 22:13-21, 1 Pet 3:7)
The woman’s duties in
the marital covenant are summarized in Gen 2:18-20…
Gen 2:18-20 And the
LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make
him an help meet for him. (19) And out of the ground the LORD God formed
every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them
unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every
living creature, that was the name thereof. (20)
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to
every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for
him.
As we study the above
verses we can see two main obligations placed upon the woman in the marital
covenant….
To be a “help meet” for
the man – to correspond with, to fulfill, to meet shortcomings, to be suitable
1. To fulfill areas of shortcoming for man. Where husband is weak she is to step in and
meet needs.
2. To have complimentary abilities and talents,
being able to accomplish what her husband is unable to accomplish
3. To love her husband and family (shown by her
submission and reverence)
4. To be willing to sacrifice herself for the
benefit of her family and husband
To be a companion for
the man (to eliminate his being alone) – to be at ones side, to stand together
with, to serve alongside, to aid
1. To be intimate physically and emotionally
2. To be physically present (How can she be at
his side and stand with him if she is not physically present.)
3. Recognize husband’s position of
responsibility before God for actions of entire family. And therefore work in harmony to bring about
God’s will in the entire family.
----She will be
submissive to the husband’s requests to obey the Lord in her life and her
children’s lives. She will not be submissive to her husband’s requests that
would lead her to go against the Lord’s will for herself or her family.
----She will lead a
modest life desiring for her life to draw attention to her Lord and not herself.
To be unified in desires
with her husband
1. She is to work towards his growth and
maturity spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically by helping him
to achieve his goals and desires
2. She is to watch over and protect him through
counsel and supportive actions
3. She is to not abuse him physically or
emotionally (how can she protect him and aid him through abuse? How can she love him sacrificially if she is
abusing him?)
4. She is to protect his reputation and public
testimony
(Other verses that
establish the above:1 Cor 7:1-6, Eph 5:22-23, 33, 1 Ptr 3:1-6)
SUMMARY:
What we have seen so
far can be summarized as follows:
1.
Marriage
is a covenant relationship
2.
The
parties of the covenant are the husband and wife
3.
God
is the witness to the making of the covenant, He is not a party in the covenant
4.
God
as witness will hold each party accountable to keep the promise they made to
each other.
5.
Marriage
is described as a “cleaving” and a “one-flesh” relationship
6.
Both
of these descriptions imply a closeness, unity and intimacy between the couple
7.
The
marriage union SHOULD NOT BE broken by man but CAN BE broken by man.
8.
Man’s
responsibility in a marriage union can be summarized as “to love” and “to
nourish” and “to cherish” the wife
9.
Woman’s
responsibility in a marriage union can be summarized as “to be a help meet” and
“to be a companion” to the husband.
As we continue our study we need to try to remember the
above points about marriage. In our next
lesson we will be looking at God’s teachings on divorce.
For a free copy of this series in book form pdf version:
please go to: http://settledinheaven.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/mardivremprotected.pdf
For a free copy of this series in book form docx version:
please go to: http://settledinheaven.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/mardivremprotected1.docx
Settled In Heaven Ministries Text Blog:
http://settledinheaven.wordpress.com
My Main Blog “Settled In Heaven” – http://settledinheaven.wordpress.com
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