He
layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous (Prov 2:7)
God’s Word Affects: Our Relationships With
Others (4): Proverbs 19:16-19
16) He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; [but] he that despiseth his ways shall
die.
17) He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that
which he hath given will he pay him again.
18) Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for
his crying.
19) A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver [him], yet thou must do it again.
We
now continue Solomon’s teachings on the many principles from God’s Word we can
use, in the forming and developing solid relationships with others…
EXPOSITION:
16) He that keepeth the commandment keepeth his own soul; [but] he that despiseth his ways shall
die.
Here,
we see a basic principle in developing good relations with those who possess
authority over us….
1. A person that attends to the commandments
given to them by those in authority, are only helping themselves to avoid the
wrath of the command giver.
2. A
person that systematically rejects the commands of higher authorities places
themselves in a dangerous position of opposition to those in power (whether it
be God or man). In many cases, continual
rebellion will result in physical or spiritual death.
This
is a very important principle that should not be overlooked. We are to always keep the command of God (the
One who holds ultimate authority over us).
This enables the Christian to avoid the chastening hand of God.
However
our, responsibility does not stop here. We are to also obey the commands of men as
long as, in doing so, we are not breaking the commands of God. By obeying those
in authority, we are escaping their hand of punishment and cultivating a successful
atmosphere for all of our pursuits.
“But this thing commanded I
them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people:
and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto
you.” (Jeremiah 7:23)
17) He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that
which he hath given will he pay him again.
Here,
we find two motivating forces behind our giving to the needy…
1. Those who look upon those in need, willing to
give of ourselves to meet that need, are actually giving for the Lord.
2. When we give to meet the needs of the poor,
will be blessed of God in repayment for our actions.
Remember,
the “poor” can include those who have physical, emotional, or spiritual
needs. While “giving” to meet their need
can involve giving time, labor or finances.
Knowing
this, let’s always strive to help the needy that are brought in our lives by the
Lord. It is a wonderful opportunity to
serve the Lord and receive His more valuable blessings in return.
“But this [I say], He which
soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully
shall reap also bountifully. Every man according as he
purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for
God loveth a cheerful giver. And God [is] able to make
all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all [things],
may abound to every good work:” (2 Corinthians 9:6-8)
18) Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for
his crying.
1. The parent is to properly discipline the
child while there is still hope of their reformation. While the child is young,
they possess a more teachable nature and, therefore, more apt to learn from the
discipline.
2. Although the child will cry as if he is dying
(“crying” is derived from a Hebrew word meaning “death”) the discipline is
still to be performed. Although it is
painful, at the time, the discipline will be of far greater benefit for the
child, and parent, in the future.
“Chastening
“ comes from an interesting Hebrew word. This word possesses three different
ideas to it… “to instruct”,” to correct”, and “to punish”
When
the child commits a wrongdoing, the parent’s responsibility is three-fold. They are to:
1.
“instruct” the child…. Teaching them the sinfulness of the action and explaining
why the action is sinful.
2.
“correct” the child… Teach them how to avoid the temptation to commit this sin in
the future and what action should be performed instead.
3. If the child refuses to accept this
instruction and correction, shown by continuing in their sinful action, the
issue becomes an issue of willful disobedience.
It is at this point that “discipline” should be used to bring the child
to submission to your instructions and corrections.
Discipline
should ALWAYS BE RESERVED for those in rebellion to the instruction and correction
of a higher authority. It is to be performed to bring willful disobedience into
submission. It is NEVER to be used
before the proper instruction, correction, and opportunity to submit is given
to the child. The Lord Himself has set
the perfect example for us in this area.
He NEVER chastens His children who disobey due to ignorance of His
commands. He always withholds chastening
until the child of God comes to knowledge of the truth and then rebels against
the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
“Ye have not yet resisted
unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have forgotten the
exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou
the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth
he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening,
God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father
chasteneth not? But if ye be without
chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had
fathers of our flesh which corrected [us], and we gave [them] reverence: shall
we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few
days chastened [us] after their own pleasure; but he for [our] profit, that [we]
might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous:
nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto
them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the
hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned
out of the way; but let it rather be healed.”
(Hebrews 12:4-13)
19) A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver [him], yet thou must do it again.
One
of the greatest purposes of discipline is to break the will of rebellion, thus
helping the child to avoid the upcoming wrath of man and God….
1. Men who angrily receive the commands of those
in authority will face the punishment of those in authority. Better the child learn this lesson when
young, being punished at the hand of a loving parent, than to face the
punishment of an uncaring human government or the wrath of Almighty God.
2. If we remove the angry, rebellious child from
his deserved discipline… the rebellion issue will be faced over and over
again. Better to impart discipline when
we see the rebellious spirit, than to allow it to become a part of the child’s habitual
lifestyle.
Keep
in mind, another of the great benefits of discipline, is teaching the child a
lifestyle of submission to higher authority.
In doing so, we are preparing their young hearts to submit to the Lord
in salvation and service to Him. How sad
if a parent will see their child condemned to the Lake of Fire in the last
judgment and realize they are partially responsible by allowing them to develop
a lifestyle of rebellious behavior.
“That they might set their
hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their
fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation [that] set not
their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.” (Psalms 78:7-8)
SUMMARY:
As
our study progresses, these are the principles we have learned about the
forming and keeping of our relationships with others:
Principle
#1 – Relationships are formed and sustained when benefits can be received
through the relationship.
Principle
#2 – Honesty is another key factor in the forming and sustaining of strong
relationships.
Principle
#3 – Relationships require a gracious, humble, giving of oneself for those who
are undeserving of our aid.
Principle
#4 – Relationships should not be taken for granted, nor should the actions of
our friends on our behalf be ignored, unappreciated, or neglected. To the best of our ability we are to seek to
give back to those who sacrificially give to us.
Principle
#5 – Both wisdom and understanding are vital assets to obtaining quality
relationships with others.
Principle
#6 – Godly relationships require us to recognize our shortcomings and the
strength of others around us.
Principle
#7 – Forgiveness is another key factor in possessing successful relationships.
Principle
#8 – We are to recognize the authority they hold over us and recognize the
great affect that they have in our lives.
Principle
#9 – We should be constantly thinking of our actions effects on their
wellbeing.
Principle
#10 – We are to seek to help secure the physical, emotional and spiritual needs
of our acquaintances.
Principle
#11 - By obeying those in authority, punishment is avoided and a groundwork for
success is laid.
Principle
#12 – Helping the needy is a wonderful opportunity to serve the Lord and
receive His blessings.
Principle
#13 - Parents are to chasten their children, using discipline to those who are
rebellious.
Principle
#14 – Through discipline, a child can develop a lifestyle of submission to
authority, laying the groundwork of submission to Christ for their salvation.
By
God’s grace, let us all study these proverbs diligently, giving them the value
that they deserve.
May the
Lord bless us as we receive this sound wisdom and then “Think On These Things”.
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