Mal
2:13-16 (KJV)
13) And this have ye done again, covering the
altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that
he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth [it] with good will at your hand. 14) Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between
thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet
[is] she thy companion, and the wife
of thy covenant. 15) And did not he make
one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might
seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal
treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:
for [one] covereth violence with his
garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye
deal not treacherously.
As
one of the most important institutions that the Lord established, marriage is a
very important subject that Christians need to understand and honor. In this series we will be looking at:
- What we need to know about marriage to understand divorce.
- The definition, allowance and purpose of divorce and allowance of remarriage.
- The Biblical grounds for divorce (fornication).
- The Biblical grounds for divorce (loss of favour).
- The Biblical grounds for divorce (departure).
- A Summary Of Our Study and Closing Thoughts
Please
understand, for this study we will only be looking at information that is
pertinent to the subject of marriage and divorce. Since marriage and the family is such a large
subject we cannot begin to cover all aspects of the marriage union in this
study. Therefore, other subjects
concerning marriage will be covered at another time.
Also,
this series of blog postings do not begin to cover every verse in the Bible
that touches on the subject of marriage and divorce. To try to cover all the verses involving
marriage and divorce would lead to a multi-part posting of maybe 40 or 50 parts. I have books on marriage and divorce that are
well over 200 pages long. So, once
again, please understand I will be covering just a few representative verses on
this subject to cover the basic principles concerning marriage and divorce.
If,
after the series is completed you have questions about any individual verse I
have not covered I’ll be glad to answer, to the best of my ability, any
question you may have. Please feel free to ask them in a comment on the blog or
by email at settledinheaven@gmail.com
Also,
for those who have questions about same sex-marriage, please see my blog
posting entitled “Same-Sex Marriage:
What does the Bible say?” for a more complete study on that subject.
Let’s
begin this summary of what we have seen throughout the Scriptures concerning
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage.
THE SCRIPTURES:
Mal 2:13-16 (KJV)
THE STUDY:
To bring our study to
completion let’s look at section of scripture in Malachi 2:13-16 that supports
all of our previous findings…
Mal 2:13-16 (KJV)
13) And this have ye done
again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying
out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth [it] with good will at your hand. 14) Yet ye say, Wherefore?
The Israelites were experiencing a time of judgment
at the hand of Almighty God. He was no
longer looking upon the nation with pleasure, there was no longer answered
prayers, no acceptance of worldly remorse, and no acceptance of their worship
and praise. Why?
Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and
the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet [is] she thy companion, and the wife of
thy covenant.
He was opposed to them because they were
mistreating their wives and breaking the marital vows that they had made before
in the presence of their Lord. Keep in
mind, they had made promises to one another at their marriage (forming the
marital covenant). But those promises
were made in the presence of the Lord.
He was the witness to the covenant into which they were entering. Therefore as they broke their promises to
their wives, the Lord was avenging and protecting the innocent wives by
beginning to judge these men for their sins.
The Lord describes their mistreatment of their
wives as dealing “treacherously” with them.
This term means to “to be unfaithful”, “to pillage”, “to work
secretly”. He is saying that they were
being unfaithful to their promise as they were mistreating and harming their
wives deceitfully.
15) And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue
of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore
take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of
his youth.
How could they mistreat the one to whom they were
so closely united? They were working against the revealed plans and purposes of
their Lord. He wanted them to be godly
and set apart from the other nations, instead they were living as the heathen
abusing their wives for their own personal gain.
The remedy? Control their sinful desires and cease
from abusing and misusing their wives.
16) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he
hateth putting away: for [one]
covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take
heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
The Lord hates for there
to be divorces, and yet their actions were grounds for divorce. Once again, by breaking their marital covenant
as they sought to fulfill their sinful desires (at their wife’s expense) they
were committing fornication and deserving of divorce.
They were trying to hide
their sinful actions from God by hypocritically approaching His altar with
gifts and tears. But He knew their
hearts and the condition of their marriages. The marital covenant has been
broken and there was no true sorrow for their actions…. Divorce would be the only
remedy to defend their wives. They must
change their ways or divorce would take place.
Here we see clearly the
Lord liking “putting away” (divorce) with their continued “treachery”
(fornication), the grounds for upcoming divorce. This folks, has been the basis of our entire
study…. The Lord allows divorce for the sake of the innocent party to stop
abuse and mistreatment following fornication.
In this context, the fornication was the husband’s forsaking of their
marital responsibilities for the sake of the fulfillment of selfish desires. These desires were being fulfilled through the
abusive treatment of their wives.
How sad it is when a
spouse chooses to commit fornication when they break their marital agreement,
harm the one they had promised to love, simply to fulfill their fleshly lusts.
What we have seen in our studies….
In lesson #1:
1. Marriage is a covenant
relationship
2. The parties of the covenant are
the husband and wife
3. God is the witness to the making
of the covenant, He is not a party in the covenant
4. God as witness will hold each
party accountable to keep the promise they made to each other.
5. Marriage is described as a
“cleaving” and a “one-flesh” relationship
6. Both of these descriptions imply a
closeness, unity and intimacy between the couple
7. The marriage union SHOULD NOT BE
broken by man but CAN BE broken by man.
8. Man’s responsibility in a marriage
union can be summarized as “to love” and “to nourish” and “to cherish” the wife
9. Woman’s responsibility in a
marriage union can be summarized as “to be a help meet” and “to be a companion”
to the husband.
In lesson #2:
1. Divorce is the act of destroying, or removing the
marital covenant resulting in the covenant being rendered void and going out of
existence. The parties of the covenant
are held responsible for the breaking of it.
2. Divorce is allowed in cases of “uncleanness”, “fornication”, or
“departure
3. God allows divorce to protect the innocent
party from abuse and mistreatment.
4. God allows for remarriage following
divorce in the cases of “uncleanness”, “fornication” and “departure”
In
lesson #3:
1. The Lord teaches us that divorce is allowed by God in
the event that fornication takes place.
2. The Biblical definition of fornication is the fulfilling sinful
desires resulting in unclean actions and forsaking of God given
responsibilities.
3. In the context of our study this would include:
following selfish desires resulting in the commission of unclean sexual unions
or the fulfillment of other sinful desires resulting in the forsaking of the
responsibilities of the marriage covenant.
4. There is no need to limit acts of fornication to
sexually related acts.
5. The breaking of the marital covenant is a very
serious offense. This offense is so
severe if it is committed there is a reason to question the salvation of the
individual committing the offense.
6. The grounds,
effects, and judgments surrounding the sundering of the marriage covenant apply
equally to both men and women. It is
wrong to believe that either gender has a greater responsibility to remain
faithful to the covenant of marriage.
In
lesson #4:
1. Becoming hard-hearted towards a spouse is, in
essence walking away from their marital responsibilities due to following of
their fleshly desires following the uncovering of something shameful on the
part of their mate.
2. Another type of “fornication” (a legitimate
ground for divorce) is hard heartedness towards a spouse
3. When a spouse allows their heart to hardened
against their spouse they are breaking their marital vows by not caring and
treating them as they should.
4. This type of hardhearted attitude leads to
physical, psychological or mental abuse of the spouse.
5. The divorce is allowed for the protection of
the mate guilty of the uncleanness. It
is an act that is done to eliminate the abuse that otherwise would be taking
place.
6. If the “uncleanness” is a sin that breaks the marital
covenant, then the one who committed the uncleanness is held guilty of the
sundering of the marriage union. If the
uncleanness does not rise to the level of breaking the marital vows, then the
responsibility for breaking the covenant rests on the one harboring the hatred
in their heart.
In
lesson #5:
1. “Depart” can refer to a physical departing or
a separation of parties joined by a covenant
2. A believing couple should realize that God
desires marriage to be permanent.
3. When faithful to the covenant, only after the
death of a spouse that remarriage is allowed
4. If a believer chooses to depart they must
remain single or be reconciled to their partner.
5. The departing believer is looked upon as lost
following efforts of church discipline.
6. Innocent party that is divorced is released
from their bonds and allowed to remarry.
7. The divorcing unbeliever is allowed to depart
for peace, avoidance of abuse, and freedom
8. Departing from the covenant (1 Cor 7) is
fornication.
9. Sending away an unfavoured spouse (Deut 24)
is fornication.
10. The teachings of Christ, Moses and Paul are
harmonious.
Some closing
thoughts…
Thoughts on the need to
harmonize the OT with the NT…
Please keep in mind, the
key to being able to harmonize all of the OT and NT verses on marriage and
divorce is coming to an expanded definition of “fornication” based upon it’s
usage in the Bible. If we hold to a more
limited meaning to “fornication” then the teachings of Moses, Christ and Paul
cannot be harmonized.
If the definition is not
expanded, then we have to say that the OT instructions given by Moses no longer
apply to us today. Also, we have to say that, when Christ taught
on the subject, He gave an incomplete answer to the issue at hand and the
Apostle Paul had to expand the grounds for divorce to include desertion. I can see no other solution to these issues
and, speaking for myself, I am not prepared to accept this way of thinking.
I believe that the
Bible’s teachings on marriage, divorce and remarriage are a part of God’s moral
laws. Therefore, both the OT and NT
teachings apply to our lives today. If
this is the case, we must be able to reconcile all the OT teachings and
examples with the teachings and examples we find in the NT. The expanded definition of “fornication” does
this very thing.
Likewise, I believe that
when Christ taught on the issue, He was giving a full and complete answer to
the questions being posed to Him. Paul’s
teachings simply more fully explained what Christ had already taught. Again, this I believe is a far better way to
understand what Paul was doing when he wrote his instructions in 1 Cor 7:
The “loosing favour” and
“hatred” of Deut 24: is a type fornication (breaking the covenant due to
following selfish desires.) It is a man
coming to the point of hating his wife for whatever selfish cause which
motivates him to turn his back on his covenantal responsibilities. This is tantamount to him “departing” from his
covenant responsibilities as we read in 1 Cor 7:. This “departure” is a type of fornication as
well. Both cases are an act of “treachery”
against the innocent spouse (Mal 2:). Christ
speaks of all these when He teaches using the term “fornication” (Matt 19:
& 5:).
Thoughts on the need to deal
with spousal abuse…
One of the most common
beliefs concerning divorce is limiting the grounds of divorce to adultery and physical
desertion only. However, then a very
important issue remains to be addressed in the Scriptures. What to do in the case of the marital
covenant being broken in other areas such as physical (or psychological) abuse
and other forms of mistreatment.
Some would say that the
answer to this is simply for the abused party to leave the home and live
separated from their spouse without getting a divorce, and by implication, not
being remarried for the remainder of their lives. I can see a few real problems with this
“theory”.
First of all the Bible
does not give these instructions anywhere. To my knowledge the only time that
spousal separation is discussed is in 1 Cor 7: where Paul speaks of a couple
agreeing to separate for a limited time to pray and fast. They are to have a date set for their
reunion. This is not in any way what we
are speaking of in terms of the need to separate due to spousal abuse.
So what we have is the
Bible being silent about the use of spousal separation to deal with this issue
that has existed during the days of the OT, NY and today’s time. This idea is simply the well-meaning thoughts
of human beings with no Biblical mandate.
If we stop and think
about it what we are asking the couple to live separately, not fulfill any of
their covenantal responsibilities, and yet call themselves married. This is my mind is creating a hypocritical
type of relationship. Neither couple is
fulfilling their vows but still “married”.
However, if we
understand that the OT teachings still apply to us today, we can see in cases
of spousal abuse, this is forsaking of the marital covenant and it is grounds
for a divorce. This divorce allows the
abused to be removed from the situation and allowed to begin a new life of
singleness or being married to another.
Thoughts on making
divorce easier…
There are many who say
that by holding to the teachings I have presented that it makes divorce much
easier to attain. I do very much
appreciate the motives behind this accusation. The world in which we live is
filled with marriages that are failing.
In many cases, divorces with no Biblical grounds are being sought and
attained. These men and women are
attempted to stand up and make divorces as difficult as possible for the sake
of the married individuals as well as society as a whole. I very much appreciate their motives and
their attempts to honor the marital union.
However all the good intentions in the world cannot justify false
teaching.
My feeling is that the
Bible makes it very plain that the Lord hates divorce and desires for every
marriage to be permanent in nature. We
all should strive for that. Every time
that the marriage vows are taken, and every time that marriage, divorce or
remarriage is taught there should be CONSTANT reminders of the Lord’s desires
for permanence of marital vows. He is
the witness to our covenant making and, as such, will chasten the guilty while
protecting the innocent. To break the
marital covenant is a big deal, a really big deal. The Lord desires for marriage to be permanent
and we should strive for that.
The Lord also desires
peace in the marriage union and will not allow treachery against a spouse to
continue indefinitely. For these
instances where the covenant has been broken, and spouses are being abused, if no
repentance is shown, the Lord allows for the marriage to end for the protection
of the abused and the abuse to come to an end.
Please remember both the Deu. 24 and the Mal. 2:13-16 passages among
others. Do these verses not make it
plain that the purpose of divorce is to stop this treachery against the
spouses? Also, if we properly define
“fornication” the teachings of the Lord will uphold this principle as well.
Thoughts in closing…
We
need to remember that our Lord’s desire for the marriage unit. Above all else, our Lord desires for marriage
to be permanent. Even when a spouse is
guilty of an offense allowing divorce, there should be room for forgiveness and
reconciliation whenever true repentance is shown by the offending party.
Also,
we should keep in mind that for those who have been divorced (following a
marriage to one who had consistently, stubbornly, unrepentantly broken the
marital covenant) you are free to remarry and to go forward with your life with
no guilt, knowing you have done all that is possible to save your marriage.
If
you have been a participant in a divorce that was not based upon legitimate
grounds… keep in mind that there is forgiveness being offered from our great
gracious God. There is no sin so great it cannot be forgiven by our Lord.
If,
after you have read every part of this entire series, you continue to have
questions about anything I have taught or any individual verse I have not
covered, I’ll be glad to answer them. Please feel free to ask them in a comment
on the blog or by email at
settledinheaven@gmail.com
May The Lord Continue To Bless You As You Seek To Study
The Word.
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