He
layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous (Prov 2:7)
God’s Word Affects: Our Relationships With
Others (3): Proverbs 19:12-15
12) The king's wrath [is] as
the roaring of a lion; but his favour [is]
as dew upon the grass.
13) A foolish son [is] the
calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.
14) House and riches [are]
the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife [is] from the LORD.
15) Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall
suffer hunger.
We
now continue Solomon’s teachings on the many principles from God’s Word we can
use in the forming and developing solid relationships with others…
EXPOSITION:
12) The king's wrath [is] as
the roaring of a lion; but his favour [is]
as dew upon the grass.
Principle
#1 – To enhance and guide our relationships with others, we are to recognize
the authority they hold over us and recognize the great affect that they have
in our lives.
1. When those in authority turn their anger
towards us, they can be an unrelenting destructive force in our lives. Much
like a hungry lion who stalks then consumes his prey.
2. When we please those who are in authority,
they can be a refreshing, strengthening influence, helping us to achieve our
life goals.
We
should never take for granted the great influence of those in authority over
us. Their intervention in our lives can,
many times determine our successes or failures in life. Because of this, we
should always carefully weigh our responses to them, taking into consideration
the long term results of any action that may displease or dishonor them.
In
this decision we are to take into account the desires of our Lord, the One who
holds the supreme authority over us… We
possess a great need to reverence and submit to the will and ways of the Lord,
the One who holds the absolute control over our temporal and eternal lives.
“And I say unto you my
friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more
that they can do. But I will forewarn you
whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast
into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.” (Luke 12:4-5)
13) A foolish son [is] the
calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.
Principle
#2 – To strengthen our relationships with others, we should be constantly
thinking of our actions effects on their wellbeing.
1. A son who does not apply the Word to their
lives, causes distress and eventual ruin in the life of their father.
2. A spouse that consistently causes
disagreements and separation are a unrelenting irritation, distraction, tension
and distress (like a Chinese water torture) to their spouse.
In
principle one of this text, we saw the need to consider the results of our
actions upon ourselves (in the treatment of those in authority). What are two greatest ways we can hinder
others through our actions?
a. Not applying God’s Word to our thoughts and
actions. This causes us to set the wrong
example for others, and also it brings worry and sadness upon those who care
the most for us.
b. Not working for peace and harmony. This causes those around us to be distracted
from pursuing their goals and fulfilling their responsibilities, it also causes
separation, and it opens the door for sinful attitudes (such as anger) to enter
the relationship.
Also,
notice that a father/son and spousal relationship is being used as
examples. This points us to the fact
that, in most cases, our actions will have the greatest effect on those who are
the closest to us.
“For therefore we both
labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the
Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe. These things command and
teach. Let no man despise thy
youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in
charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.” (1 Timothy 4:10-13)
“Finally, [be ye] all of
one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be]
courteous: Not rendering evil for evil,
or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are
thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love
life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips
that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and
do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.” (1 Peter 3:8-11)
14) House and riches [are]
the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife [is] from the LORD. 15) Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an
idle soul shall suffer hunger.
Principle
#3 – to fulfill our responsibility towards others and develop our
relationships, we are to seek to help secure the physical, emotional and
spiritual needs of our acquaintances.
1. Gifts that are given to help meet the physical
needs of others show a heart of love and concern, much like the inheritance
left to the child by the loving parent.
2. Gifts given to help meet the spiritual and
emotional needs of others also show a love and concern, much like the giving of
a wise spouse by the Lord.
Do
we often think about the needs of those who are close to us? Are we willing to expend our time, effort and
possessions to supply the life necessities of our companions? This is all a part of being there in their
time of need and proving ourselves to be true friends. As we play a role in helping others to meet
their needs is effectively allowing the Lord to work through us….
“Every good gift and every
perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with
whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
Of
course, our responsibilities to help others DOES NOT extend to those who are
lazy and purposefully suffering want (vs 15)….
1. A lazy, uncaring attitude results in being
unaware of what is taking place around us.
2. A person who is not industrious, actively
working to meet their needs, will
Suffering
lack is a natural result of laziness and idleness and is one tool used by the
Lord to show others their need to live responsibly. In this case, we are to share instruction
from the Word that will help them to understand their need to diligently seek
their needs.
However,
we are to be certain to help those who, in spite of their efforts to meet their
own needs, still find themselves lacking the necessities of life.
“For yourselves know how ye
ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any
man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that
we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto
you to follow us. For even when we were with
you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” (2 Thessalonians 3:7-10)
SUMMARY:
As
our study progresses, these are the principles we have learned about the
forming and keeping of our relationships with others:
Principle
#1 – Relationships are formed and sustained when benefits can be received
through the relationship.
Principle
#2 – Honesty is another key factor in the forming and sustaining of strong
relationships.
Principle
#3 – Relationships require a gracious, humble, giving of oneself for those who
are undeserving of our aid.
Principle
#4 – Relationships should not be taken for granted, nor should the actions of
our friends on our behalf be ignored, unappreciated, or neglected. To the best of our ability we are to seek to
give back to those who sacrificially give to us.
Principle
#5 – Both wisdom and understanding are vital assets to obtaining quality
relationships with others.
Principle
#6 – Godly relationships require us to recognize our shortcomings and the
strength of others around us.
Principle
#7 – Forgiveness is another key factor in possessing successful relationships.
Principle
#8 – We are to recognize the authority they hold over us and recognize the
great affect that they have in our lives.
Principle
#9 – We should be constantly thinking of our actions effects on their wellbeing.
Principle
#10 – We are to seek to help secure the physical, emotional and spiritual needs
of our acquaintances.
By
God’s grace, let us all study these proverbs diligently, giving them the value
that they deserve.
May the
Lord bless us as we receive this sound wisdom and then “Think On These Things”.
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